Don’t Quit in the Rut: “I’m Not Stuck Anymore” I PART 4

Tim Pecoraro: 00:00:00

Foreign welcome to the Uphill Community Podcast. Your source of inspiration to gain clarity, elevate your standards and embrace your call to for more. Together we choose the uphill climb.

Pursuing the hard best over the easy good. And discovering the extraordinary life waiting to be lived in community. Well, hello there and welcome to the show. We are wrapping up this week.

The this is part four of four all around. Don't quit in the rut. Dealing with the rut, the dip, the lull, all of that. So thank you for joining me, those of you who've listened to all of them.

I've had some great conversations with some folks just regarding the topic and it's been cool to see and to, to see some of the comments I've gotten. People who know me directly send me text messages, which is cool. People that are just talking to me, they listen to it.

I had a coaching call this morning, just a little while with the person I'm working with and I, I mentioned to them, hey, the when you can't choose the path or you can't change the path, change your posture. And they were like, ah. And they were like, I heard that in the podcast. Yes, that is true.

And so we, we talked about that in the posture, obviously, the path being the circumstance of the situation and the posture being that mindset. Right? The attitude and the way you're looking at things. So yeah, welcome to the show.

If you're listening on Apple Podcast, Spotify podcast, Audible, Odyssey, YouTube substack, thank you so much for following or listening to the show. But follow, please follow the show, share the show with someone else, rate and review the show if you would. That would really mean a lot to me.

I appreciate the support. And this is not a podcast I try to monetize. This is my gift to the world. I try to give as much as possible. This is one of the ways that I do that.

Trying to add value to, to the lives of people, to other people's lives and to who they are and how they show up and where they're going so forth. So on.

If you want to follow me on the socials, you can go to LinkedIn or on Instagram and it's simple on Instagram at Tim Pecoraro on LinkedIn, it's Tim Pecoraro. It's that simple.

And if you go on Instagram you can find my, in my bio there you can find the link and that takes you to some, you know, just all the things I'm doing, my website, stuff like that, I would love if you are looking to Grow in community and to have someone to not only just get some inspiration, words of inspiration, but you want to grow and work on getting clarity, raising standards and embracing your call to and for more. And you really want to go to the next level in your life, regardless of what it is and how you want to grow. Look at the community.

I would encourage you to go to the uphill community and inquire about joining and being a part of a growing, thriving community of folks. It's not like a Facebook group and none of those things. It's literally, like, literally, we help one another grow.

And there's also dedicated trainings and talks and it's just hard to explain. It's not hard to explain, but there's a lot. So just like taking content that is there for you to grow with and work with on a regular basis.

Not only just content, but. But it's live. And then you work with other folks who are trying to solve problems in their own lives. That's what it is.

And it's all done in community. I believe life change happens best in community. So.

Yeah, so you can find that on the at the bio link or you can just go straight to the uphill.community through the URL search. So you could also join the newsletter.

I would hope that you would do that where you will just get updates, basic little things, little insights, information, things to encourage you, insp you and just.

I do simple reviews on what I've been talking about on the podcast and other things that are going on that are pretty cool, but it's not like a big solicitation thing. We're not asking you to buy anything or do anything. It's all about sharing. So wrapping up. Here we are.

This is the last part of don't get caught or sorry. Don't quit in the rut. Right? We don't want to get caught in a rut, but we don't want to quit in the rut. So this is all about walking out of the rut.

I am not stuck anymore. You ever see Home Alone where Kevin, he says, I'm not afraid anymore of that dryer or that furnace thing that's making all that noise.

And he's not afraid. He's just not afraid. And he's at home and he's gonna. He's taking charge, right?

Kevin's getting out of being stuck in that rut, of being afraid of the furnace that makes all that noise. Well, some of us, that's the thing. We're. We're kind of like Kevin Inside, we.

We have these fears and we don't know how to accomplish what we're trying to accomplish, or we get stuck in a rut and we don't know how to get out of it. Right. Yeah. It's kind of like you too, the song, you know, stuck in the moment, can't get out of it. Right. You got to get yourself together. Right.

Because there's a way out. And that's what we're going to do, is we're going to look at that, that we're not going to quit in the rut, but we're not going to be stuck anymore.

So so far, week one, we reviewed, we've talked about how to identify the rut. Week two was about recognizing the dip. Week three was we rediscovered our why.

We went back to that why part so we can really work on, you know, understanding who we are in proximity to this rut. So now it's time to get out. It's time to walk out. And that's what we're going to get into.

And I want to make sure I stay on track because I don't want to. This shouldn't take too long, right?

This should be stuff that when I put this out here for you in this conversation with, with some tools, hopefully some information that you could sit down with. I'm hoping that you will take the last three weeks with this week. You'll sit down and you'll solve these problems. You'll get back in it.

You'll re engage your life again and get going on this. All right, so let me say this clearly. You are not stuck. Once you've figured it out that this is not about something you have to quit.

It's something that you realize that you're in. You still want what you want. You still know your why, you still know you.

That you're passionate about something and you really want to re engage again. Here's what I want to tell you about this rut, about the. The dip or the lull. You're not stuck. You ready? You're invited.

Yes, you are cordially invited. So you're cordially invited to recognize that this rut is only temporary. And you're cordially invited to re engage. So a rut is not your identity.

The rut is a moment. It's not a sentence or a life sentence. It's just a moment that you're in. It can feel like a lifetime, right? Even. It could feel.

Even if you've been stuck for weeks, months or years, you can move on you don't have to sprint. All you need to do is take a step. You don't have to run. Okay? Just don't stay still. That's the whole point. Don't just sit there and do nothing.

So you have a choice, and hopefully your choice is to move forward. Okay, you can either relive yesterday or you can re. Reenter today. Right now. Reenter the thing that you need to do.

You know, either go back, try to relive that, try to recreate all that, or what you could do is re, enter, reenter today. Let's do it. What could you do today? Don't just don't wait to feel ready. Don't just wait and go. I need to feel it. I need to feel ready.

I'm waiting for the motivation. Some. Listen, I'm going to tell you, if you wait for the motivation, you might be waiting a long time.

And sometimes because you don't feel like you're motivated again, you, you feel like that is your signal or your sign that what you're doing isn't right. No, maybe, maybe it's not that. Maybe you're waiting for motivation is what's wrong.

Because remember, if you can't change the situation, right, or the circumstance, which is the path, you can change your attitude, you can change your mindset, you can change your, your focus, your vision. You can. That's what you can change. So that's your posture. So if you can't change the path you're on, you can change your posture.

So don't sit there and wait to feel ready. You want to start this thing, and I mean it. You want to start it while it's messy. Start while it's still slow. Like it's in the slow spot.

It's messy, but start it. Because forward isn't always fast. When you move forward, it's not going to go fast. I mean, life can feel fast, things can go wrong quickly.

But you've pretty much, like I said, you've been heading down that road. But here's the thing about going forward. Forward is also faithful.

So I believe that when you're moving forward, you can find this faithful thing that because forward is going to give you things, it's faithful. Okay? It's not fast, just faithful. So you spend some time thinking about that. What does that mean to you? That forward is faithful? It's faithful.

So let's talk about getting unstuck, practically. Right? Remember, we don't want to quit in the rut. We just don't want you to do that. We don't want to do that.

None of us should be in a spot where we're quitting. And it's because we're in a rut and we're saying, oh, my gosh, what am I going to do? My life is. My life feels like a mess. My life feels like it's.

There's nothing good. There's nothing valuable, right? So we want to walk out of the rut, not be stuck.

But before we can walk out of the rut, we have to understand, is this worth fighting for? Our why? We want to go back and remind ourselves of that. That when we look at it, we feel that lull or that dip. We need to identify, is this worth it?

Is this is. It's not working. Is it worth it anymore? My why? And it, like, I need to identify what is it that's not functioning properly.

And then you also, you know, how did I get here? It's good to collect all this information so that you could put it together to get yourself into a practical way of getting unstuck.

So now that you've done that, now that you've said, how did I get here? You found that out. This isn't working anymore. You started looking at, you know, what, what the dip is.

The thing that you're doing that's just not operating. It's not. It's not yielding the results anymore, right? And then you're sitting there, you're gonna.

You gotta get yourself so you can feel the motivation again. So you're not sitting there trying to go, well, I'll just go start a new thing.

Maybe the thing you need to do, the gold that you need, the gold is just, you know, a foot away from you, three feet away from you. And you just don't need to stop digging. You just need to stop digging where you've been digging.

And you need to just move, even if it's slightly to the side, just a tiny bit. And then you've got to decide if it's worth fighting for so that you can get out of this rut.

So if you know that you're there and you want to get out of the rut, if you recognize it's just a dip, it's just a lull. It's not saying I need to quit. Here's what I think you can do. Here's some practical things. Ready? They're real simple.

The first thing that I would say to do is change your scenery. Kind of like going outside, right? Or something. You need to change the way. So if it's your workspace that you're in, like, behind me.

There's a space back here. If I know that I'm in a dip or a rut, maybe move the front furniture around. Change the scenery around. Move some things, adjust some stuff. Okay.

It's kind of like, you know, you want to feel better about yourself, maybe certain clothes that you get. I mean, literally, there are things that you could do to bump yourself in a better direction. Literally. Bump, nudge, A little push, little shove.

This isn't rocket science. This is me telling you things that you'd probably say I already know. Oh, I know this. That's not the question. It's not, do you know it?

It's what are you doing with what you know? And if you're. If you're not doing anything, it's no mystery why your life looks the way it does.

Because the things that you know to do, you don't do, right? I. I've had so many people say, I know this stuff, Tim. I know this. I'm like, then why does your life look that way? Then why.

Why are you not doing anything with that? Like, what's the deal? So change your scenery, right? As simple as, like, going outside or go somewhere new. Do something different, right?

Change your scenery up. Change your schedule. Add something that gives you life in your schedule. Put something in your schedule that's like, man, this is so life giving.

And then when you change your schedule, cut the stuff that drains your life. Get it out of your life. Get it out of your schedule, okay? And then change your circle. Oof. This is a big one.

Be around people who speak life into your future. I cannot stand being around people who. It's their. It'll never work. What did I tell you? I told you so. Wow.

Their superpower is seeing a problem, complaining about the problem, pointing out the problem. That is the lowest gift of a human being.

So the highest gift of a human being is to see a problem, but then be a part of the solution, to get involved, to work on making a difference. So be around people who speak life into your future. Don't hang around people that are just going to be sucking the life out of your future. And don't.

Here's the thing. You can't do all this by yourself. Because here's the thing. Isolation, okay? It's going to whisper lies that keep you stuck.

You're going to get all these lies whispering in your ear from being isolated, alone. Because you're going to be by yourself with your own thoughts. And if you have positive thoughts, but you're by yourself.

Eventually your positive thoughts, all alone in isolation, are going to yield negative thinking. This is what's going to happen. Eventually you will latch onto something that is not productive and helpful.

And the thing is, is that's because you can't be your own accountability partner. You need people that are going to hold you account, who are future minded and who have you in mind. And they think of you. You are the agenda.

And they know the things that you've said. They know your possibilities, your capabilities, all those things. They're not going to be. They're not going to sit by and watch you do that.

They're not going to let you do that to yourself. They're not going to allow you to whisper lies and defeat into your own head.

They're not going to let you do it because isolation again will whisper lies that will keep you stuck. So what do I want you to do? I want you to. To declare your exit. I mean, like, declare it. Like, I am not stuck anymore. Back to Kevin. I'm, you know.

First he said, I'm living alone. I want to live alone. When he was saying it to his mom, that was his declaration. I'm living alone.

But when he went downstairs, he said, I'm not afraid anymore of the furnace. Like, what is your declaration? I'm not stuck anymore. Like, I'm not. I may feel tired, but I'm not trapped. I hit a wall.

I've been working on this stuff. I'm in this rut. Why? Because maybe I haven't been doing the research in the book that I'm writing.

Maybe I haven't been disciplined in sitting down and working on the pages. Maybe I've been waiting for all the inspiration to write instead of just writing because writers write and I'm in that situation.

But I've got to make a declaration that says I am not stuck. And I'm going to write pages. Instead of me trying to edit, I'm going to create because I'm not going to be trapped. I'm going to write my book.

I'm going to finish my book. You want to declare these things before you feel these things. That's how you set your state. That's how you change your posture.

You declare it before you feel it. What I want to do is I don't want to feel my way into doing it. I want to do my way into feeling it. That's what I'm doing. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to get going. Then I'll Feel it. Because if I wait on the feeling, the feeling may never come. And then I'm gonna question, like, is it really real?

Because I don't feel it. I don't want to get into the feelings of it. That's because I don't feel motivated. Well, why don't you?

Instead of feeling motivated, what if you were motivated? How do you get yourself to be motivated rather than feel motivated? Because the thing is, is I don't want to go by the feeling.

I don't want to feel like it when I know I'm having a struggle with my teenage daughter. Like, I don't want to feel like I love her. I want to know that I love my teenage daughter so I can work with anything.

And I don't want to wait till I feel it to help her. I mean, that's just the simple math of life. We're waiting.

Too many people are waiting to feel something rather than to know what they believe, what they know to be true. And they don't wait for the feeling. They do it. They do it. And the feelings can come later.

I want you to act like your future, the future you, the future that you want and the future you are already in motion. So the future that you want and your future self, that they're already on the motion. They're already in motion. Why? Because they are.

When you're moving, they're moving. So that's the way I want you to make your declaration. Make this statement. Declare, I will no longer procrastinate.

I will no longer sit here and drift off into a rut. I will no longer make excuses. I will no longer say that I'm waiting for the right time. I'm waiting for the world to change, as John Mayer would say.

I'm waiting for this person to do this one thing and this one over here to do that thing. No, don't do that. Go back to your why. What is your purpose? Why did you start? What was the motivation to begin with? What are you doing this for?

You may be in the rut, but the rut isn't there to stop you.

The rut is there to nudge you and to wake you up and to tell you, hey, if you got into a rut, you didn't start there and it didn't show up drifted there. Pay attention to how you are walking. Pay attention to how you are navigating. So now you learn to stay in out of ruts and avoid ruts in the future.

So rather than give up starting something new, only to repeat the Same pattern again and end up in a rut with a new thing.

What if you look at the thing that you should continue to do, don't bail on it and quit just because you don't feel it and because you're in this rut that you thought just showed up out of nowhere, but yet it's something you've always been drifting, drifting to. It's because you ignored the fact that all things have a dip in a lull, right? They do.

So if you could learn from that, get back to getting your focus back, getting back to get your vision, you don't need to change your mission, you need to change maybe some of your activities, right? So if you can do that, it's going to help you in the future, not drift into the rut. So here's some final questions I want to give to you.

I just want to get you fired up. And this is very, I'm very passionate about this. You know, golfers have, have a slump, whether it's putting, driving all the stuff in the middle.

Boxers go into a slump, baseball players go into a slump, football players go into a slump. The hitting game of a baseball player goes into a slump.

Pitching goes into a slump, quarterbacks go into a slump, wide receivers go into a sl Riders go into a slump. Everybody goes into a dip or a slump. But it doesn't have to become a rut.

And if you're in a rut, I'm trying to tell you how to get out of the rut and it doesn't mean you have to quit. So your final questions. I'm going to give you three. The first one is I want you to think what has the series or this conversation, anything.

If you could go back and listen to the episode one of this two, three and four right here where we are around. Don't quit in the Ruth. What has it revealed to you? What is this even this talk today? What is being revealed to you about you and your patterns?

The second question, what step have you been afraid to take? And but now you might be ready for or you like you, you feel like I'm going to take this step.

And the third is who can you bring into your journey so that you don't go back? If you're going to get out of the rut and you're going to step up and out, don't go back. Don't re dig a hole, right? Don't go down the same path.

What are you going to do? Who are you going to invite into this situation so that you don't go back.

So I want you to take one tangible, visible step that proves I'm not staying here, right? So I gave you three questions. This is my final challenge. What is the tangible, visible step that would prove you're not staying there?

If I were to say I'm not staying here. Here's an example. I want you to end something. End something that's draining you. End something that's taking the life out of you.

End something that is blocking you, not. Because it should block you, right? Like you're about to do something illegal and. And someone's telling you not to do it. I'm not talking about that.

Because it's exciting to get into mischief. No, that's not what I'm talking about. Okay, so don't do that. But I want you to end something that's draining you, right?

If it's watching Netflix all the time and you should be writing a book, end it. End Netflix. Cancel it. Cancel your subscription to Netflix. Get rid of it. And then I want you to. Another example is, think about it this way.

If I'm not staying here, right? Something tangible, something visible. Start something you've been avoiding. If there's something you have just. Just avoided doing it, start it.

And here's another thing. Here's another example. Ask for help. Start there. Or say yes to something. Start there. Or say no, Start there. But those are tangible. Those are visible.

Those are things that you can do that says, I'm not staying here any longer. That's where you say, I'm just going to move. It's time to move. It is time for me to move. So I want you. I want you to get on this.

I don't want you to stay stuck. I don't want you to stay stuck. And I don't want you to quit while you're in this rut because ruts happen, but they don't have to define us.

And you're allowed to change, right? You're always allowed to change. And you're wired, though, for progress. So work on this. Allow yourself to be changed.

Allow yourself to be challenged for change so that you can get that progress. And you know what? You are just one decision away from movement. Just one decision. You are maybe one decision away from finding gold.

Like this story that was told in a couple of episodes back about the just not stopping the dig because you don't see any more of the gold. You don't want to be that person, the Ru Darby. And so I want you to get that movement. I want you to have that momentum. Declare your exit.

I'm not stuck anymore. I'm not trapped. I recognize the ruthless. I recognize that it didn't just come out of nowhere. I drifted here.

I recognize that I need to get my mind back on my purpose, my why. And I know some of the things I've been doing to get me here. And I will not stay trapped. I will not be a hostage.

I will not allow myself to remain here. It's time to get up. It's time to get out. It's time to get moving. So until next time, friends, don't go in the rut. Get out of it, and we'll talk soon.